Don't Settle For The Candy

Twice a week, my school sits together as a community in a Quaker Meeting for Worship. Often, we are given a query to consider. While I rarely speak in Meeting, sometimes a blog post in born from the question we are pondering. Friday's query was: What does Valentine's Day mean to you? Is it just about candy or telling someone you have a crush on them, or does it mean something more than that?

When I was a teenager, I absolutely hated Valentine's Day and most things. Every February 14th, I would invite all of my girl friends over for an Anti V-Day party: everyone was required to wear black and bring a bag of candy, and I would provide a movie with absolutely zero romantic plot line. "Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by card companies to sell us crap we don't need!" I would exclaim. I think I just hated how much it was shoved down our throats.

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So naturally, I was a bit concerned about Valentine's Day in high school from the other side. After all, my students don't always handle human relationships... um... at all.

As I sat in Meeting on Friday listening to my students respond to this query, I was overwhelmed by the maturity with which they approached this subject. Themes of community, friendship, and service ran in all of their messages. The whole room was on the same page.

Throughout the day, students (not just couples!) gave each other cheesy gifts, held hands, and exchanged kind words. We had a small Valentine's Day shop in the lobby to raise money for our sister school in Africa, and it warmed my heart to see the students buying things for each other and supporting a good cause at the same time. Sure, the students were out of their minds on sugar all day. But it was an awesome day. At the end of the day, one of my coworkers and I travelled around the building delivering anonymous flowers to classrooms, throwing petals, singing songs, and making a ton of Mean Girls references.

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I still think Valentine's Day might be a day created by Hallmark to make us buy heart-shaped things at a 30% markup. But with all of the horrible things happening in the world every single day, isn't it wonderful that we have this one day that forces us to stop and appreciate the people in our lives that bring us joy? Maybe for you that means your spouse or your significant other. Maybe for you that means your best friends or your roommates. Maybe it means your students, your teachers, your coworkers, your boss, or your employees. Maybe it just means the guy at the deli who makes your egg sandwich in the mornings (shout out to Russell at Court Order, and the two other bodega men that my ASL 2 students mentioned when I gave this schpeal to them on Friday). The world is a dark, twisted, scary place. And we don't force ourselves to appreciate the light in it enough.

So even though it's a few days late, if you are reading this, I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day, and I owe you a piece of overpriced chocolate.

What does Valentine's Day mean to YOU? Is it worth seeing beyond the hype?

Subway Pragmatics

My first semester of grad school, I took a course in linguistics. For one of our homework assignments, our professor basically asked us to screw with people. We were to enter an elevator, violate some kind of social rule, and observe people's reactions. On the ride down from class, my classmates and I were discussing what kind of rule breaking our professor meant. Before anyone  could respond, my friend Mike pressed every button on the elevator. I nearly punched him in the jaw.

The point of the exercise was to discuss pragmatics, or social language use. Pragmatic skills include using language for different purposes, modifying language for different listeners, and following social rules and norms. This homework assignment was supposed to sort of broaden our view of that last branch - everything has rules, and not everyone follows them. While elevators are a good example of this, New York City has a better one.

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Oh hush, I know, I've written about the subway before. But I just spend so much time on it! There are quite a few social oddities I've noticed about the subway. Here's a sampling:

You can face the door on a local train, but you can only face the door on an express train if it's going to open momentarily.
There is a moment underground in between Bowling Green and Borough Hall, under the East River. At this moment, everyone gets up and faces the doors. It is as if everyone knows we have crossed the line and are officially in Brooklyn. I ride the train enough that I now know when the moment is coming. If someone gets up before this moment, I think that they are awkward. Heaven forbid someone faces the door the entire time.

You're not allowed to talk on weekday mornings.
On weekday mornings, the subways are silent. Everyone is asleep. Reading. Listening to music. Sure, a few people may see someone they know on the train, and you're allowed to say hello to them. But you cannot have a conversation on the train on a weekday morning. I have a coworker who takes the train in from Queens every morning, so we often run into each other on the platform transferring at Grand Central. We have normal human being conversations. I don't think people like us very much.

You can make as much noise as you want on weekends.
Dance parties? Sure. Mariachi bands? Excellent. Shouting contests? Go for it. All bets are off on the weekends. Talk as much as you want. No one will stop you. FYI, I still haven't figured out what the weekday evening commuter rule is about noise. I think it depends on the weather.

If there's no one on the subway, you can take up as much room as you want. If it's rush hour and you're taking up more than your allotted seat space, people are allowed to shove you.
I cannot tell you the number of guys I've seen slouched in their seats with their legs spread four times the width of their shoulders. First of all, friend, it is not that big, so let's just all calm down for a second. You are being inconsiderate to everyone around you. However, the normal human thing to do is to politely say excuse me, and squeeze in to the seat next to him. That's not usually what I see, though. What happens is that the person that wants the seat (usually a tiny elderly woman with 15 bags) passive aggressively sits down and starts leaning into the man until he just gets up and runs away. I am not exaggerating when I say I see this every single afternoon. I'd like to tell you it's the same passive aggressive elderly lady, but it's not. Is this an exclusively male ego issue? Man, I hope not, because I'd love to not make this a feminist thing. But the overwhelming majority of these spacesavers are douchey dudes. And I'd like them to walk home please.

Unless you are visibly 8 months pregnant and ask for a seat, no one is giving you a seat. Ever.
A few months ago, I bringing groceries home from the Trader Joe's in Brooklyn. I was carrying a backpack and two large reusable bags filled with food. Luckily, I found a single seat on the 5 train headed to Manhattan. Fast forward three stops later to Fulton Street (*shakes fist at the sky at the mere mention of Fulton Street*), and a man appeared. He stood directly in front of me, said "excuse me," and motioned for me to give him my seat. He didn't look particularly old - maybe mid 60s - or injured or sick in any way. But I was so startled that I gave him my seat. And stood with my three bags for the 100 blocks left until my destination. No one has ever given me a seat. Not with two dozen cupcakes in hand. Not with a bleeding face. Not with an ace-bandaged ankle. In humanity's defense, I have seen people give up seats to pregnant ladies... usually after the pregnant ladies ask. Maybe you just have to ask. I am clearly never asking.

Have you noticed any weird etiquette quirks on the subway or in odd social places?

Rude and Not Ginger

I have been dying my hair pretty consistently since I was in middle school. My mom had always dyed hers, and my sister had been putting in highlights for a few years at that point. So when I was about twelve, my mom let me dye part of it temporarily blue. Now, anyone who has ever dyed their hair knows that dark colors on top of dark colors don’t really do much without bleach – so pretty much the only people who knew that my hair was blue were my mom and me. Probably at my sister’s suggestion, I decided to tint the whole thing temporarily red.

Of all the things I did as a pre-teen, that is probably the one that most drastically changed the course of my life.

I looked in the mirror didn’t see an awkwardly pale girl with braces who hadn’t grown into her facial features yet. I didn’t look disdainfully at my mousy brown hair, once a rich chestnut, dulled by puberty and years of treating it like crap.

I saw a superhero.

Well, I saw Mary Jane from Spiderman. But since there aren’t very many great female superheroes to emulate (seriously, what’s up with that?), pre-teen Amanda was happy to be the girlfriend of a caped crusader. Yes I know Spiderman doesn’t wear a cape I needed a new word leave me alone.

Brunette Amanda was awkward, immature, and uncomfortable in social situations. She was struggling with an emerging anxiety disorder, and she was really insecure about how her body looked. She was the worst. But Redhead Amanda – that girl was a rock star. She was fierce as hell and totally loved the fact that she had boobs long before any of her friends. She wasn’t afraid of anything.

Flash forward to a decade or so later, and I’m still shelling out hundreds a year to keep my hair fiery. People always ask me why I dye my hair – sometimes with an air of “but it’s so bad for you”, sometimes with an air of “why would you be voluntarily ginger”, but mostly with an air of “that’s way too much money”.

I always tell people that genetics got it wrong – that my family was supposed to be redheads. Look at us. We’re crazy. We’re feisty. We’re quirky. We’re smart as hell. We have short tempers and big hearts. Those are qualities usually ascribed to redheads, and both my sister and some of my cousins have consistently added reddish tints to their hair throughout the years.

And maybe that’s the truth. Or maybe it’s because I loved that feeling as an awkward girl looking in the mirror to find someone beautiful. Or maybe it’s because, like any good anxious person, I need to exert control over something in times of trouble. And if you look at the timing, I do tend to dye my hair before something that makes me nervous or after something traumatic.

I’ve been going to the same man for almost a year now, and he usually dyes my hair a pretty natural-looking shade of auburn. People are often surprised to hear that I’m not a natural redhead (hello, look at my eyebrows, friends) or tell me that I “look more like myself” when my hair is freshly dyed by my dear Yaniv.

But last week, I think he sensed that I was both anticipating something and overcoming something. We didn’t discuss it – other than him asking me if I wanted a darker, richer shade this time, and I said “No. Keep it bright.”

And bright it is.

I’m trying to liken the current color of my hair to a celebrity or recognizable object, but I can’t seem to think of anything. In some lights, it’s orange. In some lights, it’s red. In all lights, it is at least two tones lighter than my eyebrows. But when Yaniv dried that first strand, I had that feeling again. Redhead Amanda can do anything.

I guess we’re all sociopaths, a little bit. We all get upset when we feel out of control. We all need to do something to channel all of that anxiety and relieve all of that stress. And unlike my good friend Dexter Morgan (THIS SEASON, amiright?!), I don’t have an elaborate kill room ritual. Instead, I dye my hair red. Red like Mary Jane Watson. Red like Amelia Pond. Red like Elastigirl. Red like that crazy fire chick Melisandre. Red like Ginny Weasley. Red like Pippi Longstocking and Anne of Green Gables and Raggedy Ann.

Ah, well. If the temper fits.

Instant Gratification

I work in a pretty awesomely diverse school. Many of our teachers are from far-off places, and it makes for a really interesting set of experiences to build a community upon. But it should come as no surprise that we all enjoy poking fun at the maths teacher from the UK. Last month at our faculty retreat, he was retelling a story about something inconvenient that had happened (something about people not getting out of the way for an ambulance), and he ended the story with, "this would NEVER happen in the UK." After a few minutes of subtle insults back and forth, our favorite Brit added, "but there are many, many things to like about your country." We asked him to name five. And while many of them are not true of our whole country ("people are generally friendly and open about things such as racial diversity and sexual orientation" is not a sentence uttered by someone who has been south of the Mason-Dixon line), he said one thing that really resonated with me:

"In America, things are available. For example, if you want Afghan food at four in the morning, there are three different places who will deliver it right to your door. You can get many things."

I've been thinking about it ever since. Especially in New York, things really do seem to just be available. I started thinking about my the Upper East Side - just the places within 2 or 3 blocks of my apartment. Looking for a drink? We have a classy cocktail bar, a craft beer bar, and an assortment of crappy dive bars. Need coffee? Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, a handful of bodegas, and a local Brooklyn roastery are at your disposal. Don't want to do your laundry yourself? Send it to the wash and fold; it will be clean, folded, and sorted the next day. Hungry? If we don't have it here, walk on over to 2nd Ave and find the world of cuisines at your disposal... or check Seamless if you're not feeling like getting your food yourself. Things are just available here.

And I'm used to it. And spoiled by it. So I guess it's not surprising that I get legitimately angry when I can't get exactly what I want when I want it. Why are there so few places who will serve me decent coffee on the exact route I take to work every morning? Why can't I find a cab up Third Avenue at 1 am on a Thursday? Why do I have to go all the way to the stupid Apple Store to find a backup iPhone 4 charger? I know that these are some of the most American things I've ever said. I know there are starving children all over this world. I know that people everywhere have literally died to have the luxuries we have. But this isn't a post about social justice. I need all the things. And I need them now.

Then I went to Atlanta. Not even to Atlanta. To the suburbs of Atlanta.

I woke up one morning after both my sister and my brother-in-law had left for work. I proceeded to try to make coffee using their massive suburban 12 cup coffee maker. When it wasn't working, I was convinced that I had messed it up because I'm so used to my single-serve Keurig. But I quickly realized the coffee maker was, in fact, broken. A text from my sister confirmed. Shit. What do I do? Drink the Coke in the fridge? Make tea instead? No, dammit, I want COFFEE.

Google said the nearest Starbucks was a mile away. In the suburbs, that doesn't seem alarming. Once you exit the neighborhood and turn onto the main street, most things are available within a couple miles. But here's the catch - I no longer have a car. I have to WALK A MILE UPHILL to get a goddamn cup of COFFEE? I barely have to cross a street to get coffee in New York! I was incensed. My solution? I called my dad and begged him to take me out to lunch. Ta da.

So what's my point in telling you this story? Well, one, I've decided the reason I don't blog frequently is because my threshold of stories to tell is too high. And two, I am a spoiled brat. And that somehow came as news to me! While I'm not jaded by the sight of the Empire State Building or a random celebrity walking down the street, NYC has made me incredibly numb to the availability of everything. Is THIS what makes me a New Yorker?

So forgive me, New York, for all the times I've screamed in the Bowery when all I see are gypsy cabs. Forgive me for the times I cursed my favorite cafe for running out of my favorite pastry. Forgive me for getting angry at delivery minimums, cash-only small businesses, and buses running on holiday schedules. This place has everything.

We all have those things. When do you demand instant gratification?

Things You See At Governor's Ball

First of all HI HELLO I'M BACK. It's summertime, which means I blog now. Blogs are cool. Okay, here we go.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of attending my third music festival: the three-day extravaganza known as Governor's Ball.

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JUST LOOK AT THAT LINEUP. I bought these tickets months ago, and I've been psyched for the concert ever since. Both my roommates were going, and we all had plenty of other friends to meet up with at the shows. And then something horrible happened.

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For a few days leading up to the event, we knew it was going to be rainy on Friday night. We were prepared. We swapped our pre-planned tank tops and shorts for leggings and rain boots. What we didn't expect, though, was just how this was going to impact the rest of our weekend. I left Friday night after Of Monsters and Men with two of my friends, while another two stayed behind until they closed the island early due to really awful weather conditions (wind is dangerous, y'all!). With blisters on our heels, mud covering our rain boots, and cold wet clothes freezing us to the bone, we were overjoyed to see sunshine on the forecast for the next two days. But it slowly dawned on us what a night of rain meant to a dirt field: THREE DAYS OF MUD. All grossness aside, we made the best of it. And on Sunday, I decided to make a game out of it: Things You See At Governor's Ball. Think of it as an anthropological study of festival goers - their wardrobes, their behavior, their ridiculousness. Without further ado, I present to you my findings. After the jump!

Mini Thanksgiving

Well, hello there! It's been a while! I am finally settled into my new job, new apartment, and new life, which means one thing: time to blog more! I know, I know, I say this all the time. But maybe this time it will actually stick?

We are midway through my absolute favorite time of year. Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays with no strings attached - no gifts, no religion; just family, food, and fun. The stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a time for hall decking, treat baking, and gift giving (my three favorite things). Christmas is, of course, the BEST day of the year, and this year I have the great joy of bringing Hanukkah to my gentile roommates. We close the season with New Year's - a fresh start for the next 12 months of life. Isn't it beautiful?!

This year, my roommates and I decided to host a potluck "Friendsgiving" dinner. Mary pointed out that serving a traditional Thanksgiving dinner would take away from the big day, which we were all spending with our families outside of NYC. We decided our Thanksgiving needed a theme - and after we crushed Karin's dream of a Mexican Thanksgiving, Mini Thanksgiving was born. Few people know this about me, but it has always been my dream to host a party where everything was prepared in muffin tins. Mini Thanksgiving was here to make my dreams come true!

Okay, so neither of the things that I made were actually cupcake shaped. BUT it was really amazing how all of our guests interpreted the miniature theme. I hope you're hungry, because you're headed for a food pic spam!

Our table was set.



Sarah made sure we didn't prepare dinner starving - we all arrived to an apartment rich with the smells of Pumpkin Muffins and spicy Sweet Potato Fries!

Karin made Mini Brie Bites filled with delicious blueberry jam.

Mary prepared our main course, Turkey and Cranberry Ravioli. Giada ain't got nothing on this girl!

Mary also made sure we had plenty of crusty bread to soak up the buttery sauce.

I made Pioneer Woman's Crash Hot Potatoes, but added a little extra garlic and rosemary for good measure.

Attempting to bring a little health to the table, I also made my famous Roasted Green Beans... served in martini glasses, of course.

Laura & Renee made Mini Mac and Cheeses that were to die for.



Kait stopped by and brought Domino's Cheesy Bread - a welcome addition!

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of our delicious dessert - I think I was too full to move! Laura & Renee made us Mini Apple Pies a la mode. Here's a picture from Little Bit Funky's original recipe:

And obviously we hated every bite.



It was, by far, one of the BEST dinner parties I've ever been a part of.

Have you ever put a twist on a traditional holiday celebration?

Freeky Friday: Goal-Oriented

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It's the LAST Freeky Friday of 2012! With what topic are we celebrating?

What are your goals for the upcoming year?

When I wrote this topic, I was (of course) thinking in the mindset of the school year beginning and found that a perfect opportunity for goal-setting, especially since we're doing so much of it in our teacher orientation this week! But I've been pleased to see that people are finding this question open for interpretation: setting both long- and short-term goals, looking forward to the school year and beyond, and even jumping ahead to a long-awaited spring vacation! My goals are going to read a little more educational, so bear with me.

Usually when I make new years/school years resolutions, I find them hard to keep because they're so vague and unmeasurable. Was I happy this year? Did I try my best at something? As a teacher, we set goals for ourselves and our students on a fairly regular basis. We have short-term goals and long-term goals, broad reaching goals and narrower goals. There are a few criteria we must always keep in mind, however, and I've tried to be mindful of them when writing this post: goals must be specific, measurable, and timely. I've been thinking about these goals for over a week now (yes, I plan these topics that far in advance), and I'm pretty psyched about them. I've decided to set a personal goal, a professional goal, and an interpersonal goal.

Personal Goal: Run a 5K

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I've written here a few times about weight loss and being healthy, but I've never quite had measurable goals for my personal fitness. Sure, I'll tell myself that I plan to go to the gym three times a week, but I never hold myself accountable. And to many people, saying "I'm training to run a 5K" is the most ridiculous statement in the world. Training to run three miles? I could run 3 miles in my sleep. To me, though, being able to run just one mile is so much more of an indication of how far I've come health-wise than the number on the scale. In school, I was always the kid who avoided gym class or the fitness test. My "best mile time" was probably 13 minutes, and to be honest, I'm sure I walked most of it. Now that I walk about a 15-minute mile without even trying, I think it's time to kick it up a notch. Towards the end of the summer, I started learning to run: training in short intervals of running and walking, testing indoor/outdoor speeds, buying fancy new shoes that are specifically tailored to my overpronation. It's a process, but I'm confident that I can get my legs, my lungs, and my spirit up to running at least a couple of miles before next summer. The hardest part will be maintaining a running schedule when school gets intense, but I think having a set goal in mind will help push me over laziness and exhaustion and into my running shoes.

Professional Goal: Allow my student population to teach me more than I teach them

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The school where I will be teaching this year caters exclusively to students with learning disabilities. I have some experience working one-on-one with students with LD at my student teaching placement, but this will be my first time being solely responsible for differentiating all of my instruction to a whole class of students with various difficulties. In the last two weeks of orientation, we've talked a lot about "our student population" - the daily tasks our students struggle with, the various means of input we need to provide for them, the incredible moments of insight they can have, their beautiful resilience in the face of their own difficulties, and so much more. At first, it can be overwhelming to think about all of the things you need to teach a high school student in order to prepare them for college and beyond - and that only gets more overwhelming with this population - but then I start to think about just how much I have to learn about our students. I absolutely cannot wait to work with these students. My goal for the year is to keep my mind and heart open so that they can teach me, both individually and as a whole population, as much as I try to teach them.

Interpersonal Goal: Make new friends, but keep the old

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I set this goal for myself every year, and I find I am increasingly bad at it. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people in NYC that I care so deeply about: the amazing teachers I met through grad school, the beautiful women I've lived with over the last two years, my closest friends that I moved here with, and so on. Unfortunately, I don't live with a lot of these people anymore. I don't have class with them on a weekly basis. I don't work in the same building as they do. It's up to me to seek these people out and make sure we stay in touch. I also struggle with calling friends who live outside of NYC - sorority sisters, my high school best friends, and the ever-growing number of people I know in the People's Gaypublic of Drugifornia. How am I ever going to maintain these friendships if I am not the one to call sometimes? Of course, there's another factor to this: I love the people in my life, but I am open to the people that have yet to enter. I have a brand new set of coworkers, and I'm seeking out new recreational/educational activities that will no doubt have people I'd like to get to know. My goal this year is to break out of my comfort zone and not be afraid to make plans and open myself up to new people, but without sacrificing the people that I do have in my life already, near and far. The best way to do this? Invite everyone, of course! I know this seems hard to measure which defies everything I've written about goal-setting and my whole educational philosophy, I think I'll know this one when I see it.

What are your goals for the upcoming year?

In case you forgot, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

• Write a blog post using the badge html above, then comment on my post with a link to your post
• Tweet your answer using the tag #FreekyFriday
• "Like" the  Freekware Facebook page, then comment on there with your answer

Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of August, you'll automatically be entered to win some tasty treats and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. This is the LAST Freeky Friday of the summer, but you can still win!

It's been a blast getting Freeky with all of you this summer. Be sure to check back next week - I'll be recapping the summer and announcing July's and August's winners!

Freeky Friday: It's A Celebration!

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Welcome back to another Freeky Friday! Today's topic:

How do you celebrate life?

Isn't life grand? Whenever I feel the need to thank the universe for another wonderful event or just remind myself that being alive is freeking awesome, there are a few things I like to do. The first is to surround myself with the people I care about - my friends here in NYC, my family back home, some very important people spread across the country. Whenever I'm with these people, I am constantly celebrating life. Just being around them reminds me that the world is a beautiful place. The best part is that even though I'm thousands of miles away from many of them, the Internet, cell phones, and video chatting have made everyone instantly accessible. Whether I'm happy and want to share or bummed and need a pick-me-up, these people are always there.

The second way I celebrate life is a bit more introverted. I walk.

Sometimes I just walk to the park and around in a circle and back home. Sometimes I'll take the extra time to walk two or three miles to a destination instead of taking the subway. Lately I've been enjoying finding new routes through Central Park to get home from the many staples of my life that are still on the west side, even though I now live pretty far east. And some days, like today, a long walk is what I need to clear my head and remind myself that life is brief, and its up to us to make our significant in some way. Today I walked from my school in Brooklyn Heights across the Brooklyn Bridge and into Manhattan. I was pretty grumpy when I left Brooklyn (being a grown-up is hard), but by the time I crossed the bridge, I had a whole new attitude. Something about seeing the entire Manhattan skyline, the flow of the rivers on either side of me, the glimmer of the Statue of Liberty in the distance reminded me how important it is to appreciate every breath we take. So instead of taking the subway home, watching Doctor Who, and passing out early, I chose to keep walking up Lafayette to Union Square for the Gotham Gators kickoff party with some friends. I probably walked about 4 miles today, totally spontaneously, and then met up with some of my favorite people. And life was celebrated.

How do you celebrate life?

In case you forgot, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

• Write a blog post using the badge html above, then comment on my post with a link to your post
• Tweet your answer using the tag #FreekyFriday
• "Like" the  Freekware Facebook page, then comment on there with your answer

Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of August, you'll automatically be entered to win some tasty treats and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. You still have this week and next week until Freeky Friday says goodbye until next summer!

Come on back next Friday, August 31st, to help wrap up our summer with this topic:

What are your goals for the upcoming year?

Freeky Friday: Awesomely Bad

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Oh hi, Freeks. I've missed you, you know. Today's topic:

What's your all-time favorite movie quote?

I've been searching my brain for the best quote of all time all damn day. Trying to think of something classic that Katharine Hepburn said that sums up why she's my hero. Itemizing princess quotes to find the one that best sums up the Disney Gospel. I even read some articles about Anchorman to refresh my memory about the movie that inspired me to quote movies for all time. But I kept coming back to this.

Picking this quote is up there with the most ridiculous decisions I've ever made in my life. I'm not going to tell you not to laugh. I am, however, going to warn you not to judge too quickly. Just let me explain.

My favorite movie quote comes from the worst movie of all time. If you have lived in blissful ignorance of The Room, I both envy and pity you. I suggest you head over to YouTube and enlighten yourselves. In the meantime, here's my favorite scene:



I first saw The Room when I was home from college one summer. Being constantly surrounded by movie buffs and connoisseurs of the awesomely bad, it was a sort of rite of passage for me to see the film. For those that don't know, The Room is Tommy Weiseau's disasterpiece about a weird ass man and the love of his life and some dude named Mark and also there's a kid and something about forks. Okay, I really don't know what The Room is about. The important thing is IT DOESN'T MATTER. It's awful. So awful. So deliciously awful it hurts.

After my second time seeing the movie (which, by that point, had been turned into a drinking game), I had all the big lines memorized. I didn't dare to mention them in front of my family, until I noticed my brother-in-law, a full-blown nerd and no stranger to the world of Internet sensations, quoting the movie as well. In front of all of my cousins, we started talking about the horrors and wonders of The Room. He confessed that he had never seen it, but he knew all the big lines from YouTube and message boards. After a few "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA"s and some "I DID NAAAAHT"s, we decided to enlighten the rest of the cousins.

Keep in mind that at this point it's about 2 a.m., we're all drinking, and we are naturally giggly and goofy when we are together even before alcohol. Put yourself in that state and spend some time YouTubing. By the time we got to the above clip, we were hunched over in laughter. For the rest of the weekend, every other sentence seemed to start with "oh hi" and end with "you know".

The best part of all of this? Since the character's name is Mark, we started associating the line "Oh hi, Mark" with the wonderful moments we constantly experience when our Mark asserts his presence and influence in our lives. Just how this ridiculous quote became something beautiful is beyond me, but I think that's what my family does best - turn something silly into something wonderful. When you're driving down the highway after a rough day at work, and 311 comes on. Oh hi, Mark. When you had a rough flight home, but a soldier returning home reminds you that family is more important than anything. Oh hi, Mark. When you're with your cousins, singing your heart out, celebrating the marriage of your sister, and a gust of wind blows through your hair. Oh hi, Mark.

That's right. My favorite movie quote of all time comes from the worst movie of all time. And I'm not at all ashamed of that. What's that? You still don't believe me? YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, FREEKS! justkiddingiloveyou.

In case you forgot, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

• Write a blog post using the badge html above, then comment on my post with a link to your post
• Tweet your answer using the tag #FreekyFriday
• "Like" the  Freekware Facebook page, then comment on there with your answer

Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of August, you'll automatically be entered to win some tasty treats and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. Keep those posts coming!

Come on back next Friday, August 17th, and riddle me this:

Have you ever experienced a random act of kindness from a stranger? Or gone out of your way for someone you didn't know? Tell us about it!

Freeky Friday: Well-Rounded

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Sorry about the delay, Freeks! Here's today's Freeky Friday topic:

How do you stay healthy?

In a word? Bananas.

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Long-term readers may recall a series I attempted to write about losing weight, which ended horribly with a heartfelt confession about the dangers of obsessing over the number on the scale. Since then, you may have noticed, I haven't really said anything about health at all on this blog... or anywhere in life, for that matter. In fact, I kind of revolted against eating right and exercising and put on quite of few pounds since my pre-bridesmaid weight loss. I blamed it on the stress of student teaching - which probably is to blame for at least part of it - and avoided scales and tight clothes for about 6 months. And then I graduated... and took a long hard look in the mirror.

After over a year of not looking, I stepped on the scale. I had gained 25 pounds in about a year.

Haphazardly trying to eat less and exercise more resulted in me feeling like crap and not losing an ounce. I need monitoring - I need mindfulness. But to calorie count again after what happened last year? That seemed like a really stupid decision.

And then I found out that my cousins had joined Weight Watchers with amazing results (shout out to Jen, my WW inspiration and freeking birthday princess!). I've always had my eye on WW, never wanting to pay but fully supporting their philosophy. After a week in Orlando with the family, I decided to jump on the WW bandwagon. I had support (two cousins, my sister, and my brother-in-law are all doing it!), they were having a sale, and most of all, I was desperate.

I have been on WW for 2 weeks and am noticing a tremendous difference. First of all, I've lost almost 4 pounds and a few inches off my waist and thighs. But more than that, I feel AMAZING. My skin looks better. My hair feels softer. My nails are growing faster. I have more energy. I am more naturally positive and outgoing. Now how much of that is due to me looking good and therefore feeling less stressed out and how much of it is a direct result of the food? Who cares! The important thing is, it's working.

But to go into more detail (and to explain my earlier answer), there is one sole reason I think WW is working for me: Points make sense. Points are calculated using fat, carbs, fiber, and protein - no calories involved. Apart from the fact that the math is easier (26 points a day is a lot easier to wrap your head around than 1200 calories), I feel like I'm monitoring the right things. Low fat. Lean protein. More fruits and veggies (all fruits and most veggies are 0 points!). Less carbs. The carbs I do eat are high in fiber. This is the way human beings are supposed to eat.

When I was calorie counting, I always struggled with the fact that a banana, a bag of pretzels, and a glass of wine are roughly the same amount of calories. Shouldn't I be rewarded for eating whole, unprocessed, naturally delicious fruit and somewhat penalized for eating the sugary, nutrition-less, un-filling alcohol? It got to the point where I felt guilty about eating higher calorie fruits, like bananas or apples. Strictly calorie-counting diets reward you for eating "diet" food and pretty much nothing else. On Weight Watchers, my pour for a glass of wine would probably average around 6 points. A small bag of pretzels, roughly a serving, would be 3 or 4 points. And a banana? ZERO POINTS. HOORAY FOR FRUIT!

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But beyond the fact that I can have all the gosh darn bananas I want, I chose to talk about WW today because it's keeping me mentally healthy. I can stick to this. It is working for me. I feel good about it. And I don't guilt trip myself every time I eat a banana. And if I start to guilt trip myself about food, I have a huge support system of other point-aware people to turn to. And that's a pretty healthy place to be in.

How do you stay healthy?

In case you forgot, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

• Write a blog post using the badge html above, then comment on my post with a link to your post
• Tweet your answer using the tag #FreekyFriday
• "Like" the  Freekware Facebook page, then comment on there with your answer

Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of July, you'll automatically be entered to win some tasty treats and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. There's still one more Friday left in July, so you could have plenty of chances to win!

Come on back next Friday, July 27th, and answer this prompt:

Tell us a funny story! It can be about anything - entertain us!

Deck the Walls

I recently gave you all a glimpse into the design of my new bedroom, but I noted that two challenges remained. One of those is the search for the perfect wall decor. I really want one, beautiful, permanent piece that I can proudly hang above my bed that brilliantly accents the room. There are so many incredible designers out there; it's so difficult to choose! The big question is whether I want...

...an inspirational quote...

Let Her Sleep print by yellowbuttonstudio

Ecclesiastes 3:11 by Typographic Verses

...or an ode to NYC...

New York City Map Art Print by jennasuemaps

An A to Z or New York by Laura Seaby

...or something random and whimsical...

Ocean Meets Sky by Terry Fan

Dr. Seuss by Kongoriver

...or something typographic...

The Harmony Manifesto by aardvark

The Alphabet of Typography by Pop Chart Lab

...or something vaguely Disney.

Peter and Wendy print by bbkk

Up by Derek Temple

Decisions, decisions! There are just so many talented artists and so many wonderful online stores selling their stuff! What do you think? Where have you found art in the past?

Freeky Friday: Pick Me Ups

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Happy Friday the 13th, Freeks! We hope you're not too superstitious to answer today's prompt?

What are your little pick-me-ups?

Well this topic just begs for a photo list, dontchathink? Here are a few of my favorite tactics to beating the blues:

Reading Harry Potter on my Kindle (I obviously need this cover!)

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Funky Wayfarers

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Walking in Central Park

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Playing on Pinterest (can you tell from these other pictures?)

Painting my nails (although I could never manage something this crazy!)

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Sitting in a coffee shop

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Stalking brilliant designers on sites like Society6

Stalking puppy pictures, like this one from amazing rescue org Badass Brooklyn

Baking (you saw that one coming)

What are your little pick-me-ups?

In case you forgot, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

• Write a blog post using the badge html above, then comment on my post with a link to your post
• Tweet your answer using the tag #FreekyFriday
• "Like" the  Freekware Facebook page, then comment on there with your answer

Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of July, you'll automatically be entered to win some tasty treats and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. There are two more Fridays left in July, so you could have plenty of chances to win!

Come on back next Friday, July 20th, and answer this prompt:

How do you stay healthy?