The point of the exercise was to discuss pragmatics, or social language use. Pragmatic skills include using language for different purposes, modifying language for different listeners, and following social rules and norms. This homework assignment was supposed to sort of broaden our view of that last branch - everything has rules, and not everyone follows them. While elevators are a good example of this, New York City has a better one.
Oh hush, I know, I've written about the subway before. But I just spend so much time on it! There are quite a few social oddities I've noticed about the subway. Here's a sampling:
You can face the door on a local train, but you can only face the door on an express train if it's going to open momentarily.
There is a moment underground in between Bowling Green and Borough Hall, under the East River. At this moment, everyone gets up and faces the doors. It is as if everyone knows we have crossed the line and are officially in Brooklyn. I ride the train enough that I now know when the moment is coming. If someone gets up before this moment, I think that they are awkward. Heaven forbid someone faces the door the entire time.
You're not allowed to talk on weekday mornings.
On weekday mornings, the subways are silent. Everyone is asleep. Reading. Listening to music. Sure, a few people may see someone they know on the train, and you're allowed to say hello to them. But you cannot have a conversation on the train on a weekday morning. I have a coworker who takes the train in from Queens every morning, so we often run into each other on the platform transferring at Grand Central. We have normal human being conversations. I don't think people like us very much.
You can make as much noise as you want on weekends.
Dance parties? Sure. Mariachi bands? Excellent. Shouting contests? Go for it. All bets are off on the weekends. Talk as much as you want. No one will stop you. FYI, I still haven't figured out what the weekday evening commuter rule is about noise. I think it depends on the weather.
If there's no one on the subway, you can take up as much room as you want. If it's rush hour and you're taking up more than your allotted seat space, people are allowed to shove you.
I cannot tell you the number of guys I've seen slouched in their seats with their legs spread four times the width of their shoulders. First of all, friend, it is not that big, so let's just all calm down for a second. You are being inconsiderate to everyone around you. However, the normal human thing to do is to politely say excuse me, and squeeze in to the seat next to him. That's not usually what I see, though. What happens is that the person that wants the seat (usually a tiny elderly woman with 15 bags) passive aggressively sits down and starts leaning into the man until he just gets up and runs away. I am not exaggerating when I say I see this every single afternoon. I'd like to tell you it's the same passive aggressive elderly lady, but it's not. Is this an exclusively male ego issue? Man, I hope not, because I'd love to not make this a feminist thing. But the overwhelming majority of these spacesavers are douchey dudes. And I'd like them to walk home please.
Unless you are visibly 8 months pregnant and ask for a seat, no one is giving you a seat. Ever.
A few months ago, I bringing groceries home from the Trader Joe's in Brooklyn. I was carrying a backpack and two large reusable bags filled with food. Luckily, I found a single seat on the 5 train headed to Manhattan. Fast forward three stops later to Fulton Street (*shakes fist at the sky at the mere mention of Fulton Street*), and a man appeared. He stood directly in front of me, said "excuse me," and motioned for me to give him my seat. He didn't look particularly old - maybe mid 60s - or injured or sick in any way. But I was so startled that I gave him my seat. And stood with my three bags for the 100 blocks left until my destination. No one has ever given me a seat. Not with two dozen cupcakes in hand. Not with a bleeding face. Not with an ace-bandaged ankle. In humanity's defense, I have seen people give up seats to pregnant ladies... usually after the pregnant ladies ask. Maybe you just have to ask. I am clearly never asking.
Have you noticed any weird etiquette quirks on the subway or in odd social places?
