We're nearing my one year anniversary as a New York resident, so I'd like to take some time to pay tribute to our honored transportation system. The Subway Series is a collection of posts dedicated to the ridiculousity of the Metropolitan Transit Authority's underground tunnel system, relied upon by so many New Yorkers to get to school, to work, to home, to play, to shop, to study, and to explore. Today's topic:
Fun Games To Play with MTA
Let's face it: subway commuting is boring as hell, and we all need something to do to occupy our time, mainly involving silently making up back-stories for our fellow-commuters. Here are some suggestions for games to play while riding the subway:
What's That Smell?
Is it food? Is it body odor? Is it someone's dog? This is especially fun to play on the platform waiting for the train to come. A tip: you only win if you can successfully move away from the smell. Even if it's pleasant, you won't think so after you're trapped in a stuffy box next to it for an extended period of time.
Have I Been In This Car Before?
Haven't I seen that ad before? I think I remember that graffiti. That gum stain over the transit map looks familiar. Chances are, you haven't; there are over 6,400 cars on the MTA roster. But it's fun to wonder if you have, reminisce upon the time you stared at that same dent on the wall for 25 minutes, and waste a few minutes.
Guess The Stop
This is my absolute favorite game because I always win. Pick a person on the subway. Guess the stop at which they are going to get off. You are not allowed to change your mind - you must stick with your original guess. At the desired stop, watch to see if your target exits the train. Easy stops to spot: hub stops like Columbus Circle and West 4th street (commuters who need to switch to another train), transportation centers like 42nd Street and 34th Street (people with luggage), and 116th Street/Columbia University (let's be honest, we have a look about us). I have never guessed that someone was going to get off at 116th Street and been wrong.
Speak Another Language
This is my favorite game to play with friends. It's easy: just start using another language. People will stop and stare at you because they will assume you're talking about them. Chances are you weren't - until they started staring at you. This is especially fun with American Sign Language for a couple reasons: First, people will spend their entire commute trying to figure out which one of you is deaf (bonus points if none of you are deaf). Second, people will start talking about how ASL is a beautiful language. This is your cue to start signing horrible things and watch them smile at how lovely it is. And finally, subway signing is the best because subways are loud, cacophonous environments. Isn't it nice to not have to shout over all of that?
Guess The Font
This game is not for everyone, but it's definitely for me. Look up at the ads lining the walls. Is that a serif (Times New Roman) or a sans-serif (Arial)? Is it a cursive (connected) or a script (disconnected)? Do you have that font in your arsenal? Would you even want it? Once you've mastered the ads on the walls, move on to the bags people are carrying, or the type on their shirts. Most official MTA things will be in Helvetica, but on the off chance they're not, contemplate why they chose to mix in a serif.
Note: if you can come up with a valid reason for why MTA has recently chosen to do this, please let me know, because it's been bothering me for months. Shut up, I like typography.
Gay or European?
Often, you will find two well-dressed, nicely coiffed men riding the subway together. Sometimes they are holding hands. Sometimes they are speaking another language. If they are doing either of those things, you are not allowed to play Gay or European. If they are not, the fun begins. Don't forget to create a back-story for how these lovebirds (or les copains) met.
Homeless or Hippie?
This is a slight variation of Gay or European, meant to be played in the wintertime, when everyone is bundled up and it's hard to tell who is who. Does the person give off a distinct odor? Homeless. Does the person look like they don't care about anything? Hippie. Is the person asleep? Homeless. Does the person eventually get off the train? Hippie. The biggest difference between this one and Gay or European is that you will most likely be able to answer this one definitively at some point. Also, Gay or European is much, much cleaner.
Tour Guide
"This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Transfer is available to the 2, 3, A, C, E, N, Q, R, 7, and the Shuttle to Grand Central. The next stop is 34th Street, Penn Station." When you hear that friendly little announcer, ask yourself where else you can transfer to at this stop? What's the next stop on the Q train? If you were to get out and onto the street, what's the first thing you'd see? Where could you go from here? Try to come up with elaborate transportation routes, like taking the Shuttle, then the 4/5/6 up to 86th Street, walking three blocks west, and going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Or, try to come up with walking tours, like walking down 6th Avenue to the New York Public Library. I like this game; it tests my knowledge of my city.
What Have You Been Up To?
And finally, another game to create elaborate lives for your fellow commuters. Look at her outfit. Where is she going? Where is she coming from? Why does she think those shoes match that top? Why is her hair so tangled? Who is that guy standing next to her? This is useful when you are coming back from something relatively lame, like a study date at a friend's apartment, and other people have already pre-gamed and are headed out for a night on the town. This game is especially fun when it's 9 am on a Saturday and you are headed to Trader Joe's... and that girl standing across from you is clearly still wearing last night's makeup. Look, I'm in grad school. I have to live vicariously through other people's fun.
What games do you play during your commute? Have you ever played any of these on a subway? Did you win? I always win.
